saturday 5/24

So, for the past 3 days my voice has been sounding more and more like I am an emphysemic chain smoker who has just topped out at 3 packs a day. To give you an idea of my inability to form coherent words—two days ago when we stopped at Qdoba this was my attempt to order from the Poor Burrito Maker:

Poor Burrito Maker (PBM): happy, cheesy, service industry smile “Hello, what can I get for you today?”

Me: I Decide I want to order a wheat tortilla “Hhhheeeeehhhh, I……wheeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaa”

PBM: looks slightly concerned “Sorry….what was that?”

Me: Try again “Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaa-……Wheeee-Wheee” face starts to turn red with visible strain

PBM: now slightly alarmed “Uuuhh….I didn’t quite catch that?”

Me: still determined to place my order “WHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!” people start to stare

Aiden (my crew leader): “Sorry. She wants a wheat tortilla.”

Example #2: I attempt to call one of my group members from my writing class to ask about our final research paper and he HANGS UP, telling me I have the wrong number!

I have not attempted to make any phone calls since.

Anyways, This morning, my voice was completely gone, and I mean nothing— not even a squeak of sound would come out. I tried to say good morning to someone and sounded roughly like a goose crossed with a gasping fish.

I was in a very depressed mood, continually having to repress sarcastic comments, or attempting to say them and then having people look at me like I may have a screw loose somewhere, so I decided the best place for me to be that morning was the library. I walked into the library just angry; it is not my norm to be silent, and I was worried people would think differently of me because I wasn’t talking as much or sounded like a wheezing cat when I tried. But then, as I was trudging upstairs, I passed this sign:

And I just stood there for a second staring, mouth half-agape, the other library goers quizzically stepping around this strange girl camped out in the middle of the stairwell. It occurred to me that maybe this whole loss of voice is maybe a good thing. I’ve never really realized how important voice is in my life. Voice, meaning not just the way I talk, but the way I listen too. Maybe, by being forced to lower my voice, I can raise my mind, and really listen to what's going on in other people's lives. I'm not normally a quiet person, and not having a voice forces me to see where other people will lead the conversation. And also makes me really work those 'nonverbal communicators' like...smiling... and widening my eyes really big to try and make up for my lack of input.

So, I adopted a new outlook on the whole voice situation. And then we went on a really fun hike to a Bear, Dream, and Emerald lakes and trudged up a mountain and slid down on our rainjackets.

 

Emily smartly consulting the map after our plan to trek blindly into the woods failed

 

Dream Lake